Coming out of the (new) closet
Writing this column was no easy task. Deciding to publish it is equally challenging in a conservative society, eager for prejudice and perhaps stealthy and distrustful of change.
Nevertheless, it is essential to bring to the forefront the social gathering that occurs every June in the form of LGBTIQ+ Pride and the inspiration it can provide to many of us.
I’ve seen online that some people believe such a celebration should be kept out of sight, arguing that sexual orientation is such a personal matter that it should remain in the realm of private reserve.
It’s as if these things should not be discussed, as if it were the last century, the dark ages, or worse yet, a sin. Undoubtedly, this is a thorny issue that makes people uncomfortable and, in a way, that’s good.
Some people go so far as to deny the existence of the LGBTIQ+ community, while others resort to insults and disgrace to reject anything different from what they were taught was the “right way.”
But coming out — that hackneyed phrase associated with those of us who have decided to break the mould and publicly embrace our homosexuality — is much more than that.
All humans are called to come out of the closet to break free from the social standards — regardless of sexual orientation — that are sold to us as necessary to be ‘accepted’, ‘valued’ and ‘validated’ by an increasingly aggressive environment that disregards essence for the allure of the visual and desirable.
The new trends towards being perfectly attractive, polished, desirable, flawless, and free from defects are driving millions back into the closet, locking themselves away to meet the standards demanded by others, limiting their outward sense to what is deemed ‘beautiful’ and ‘accepted’.
The new prototyping, the standardisation of beauty concepts, the need to conform to the ‘what will they say’, is unfortunately constructing a ‘new closet’ amid hypocritical approval in the pursuit of validation.
Many people, even those who consider themselves open-minded, can still feel trapped by external expectations of perfection and social acceptance. Perhaps this is another great deception of our time.
The thirst for comparison and competition stoked by social media and constant dialogue has forced many individuals to live with fears and insecurities, as if they were inside a closet — though they claim to be out — living their lives as if in an open-door prison.
Where is all the freedom we boast about in this stage of our development?
There are now more daring individuals breaking the schemes, stereotypes, and archetypes of what ‘ought’ to be, focusing instead on simply being.
Exploring one’s personality, finding authenticity, being confident in who we are, and shedding the need for external validation is what can lead us to meet as respectful humans who understand difference.
LGBTIQ+ Pride is here to remind us of this: the diverse and colourful nature of the world in all its shades and authenticities.
There is so much to learn from difference just by setting aside prejudice and fear, and embracing what once might have made us uncomfortable.
We must be proud of who we are, regardless of labels or acronyms. To be ourselves, joyfully and fervently, living out of the closet, thinking outside the mould, and living from an appreciative and understanding perspective.
The closet is for clothes and everything external to us. Nothing more. It is not a fashion or a pastime, and most importantly, there is nothing to cure. This way, we all open ourselves to one thing: the enjoyment of diversity with love and respect for all and by all.
Note: Thanks to everyone who helped me reach the level of acceptance that inspires this column. Without you, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today.
